Bigballs the Fat Hairy Nut-Sack of God - 252 Early Spring by Dan

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The first year completed of our somewhat vulgarly named succession fort

There are 8 comments for this map series, last post 2011-03-06

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Submitted by: Benzene - 2011-03-06 to 254 Early Spring

Today I, the great Benzene, assume control of the fortress town Etägbiban Erbistökishlumfat Nòm. Odd name, let's see what it brings.

Submitted by: Benzene - 2011-03-06 to 254 Early Spring

After a quick survey it appears my fortress is besieged by goblins and our army has been destroyed. It's clear this dire situation calls for the great Benzene's capable leadership. Good thing the giant eagle leadership deployment service is active in these parts.

Submitted by: Benzene - 2011-03-06 to 254 Early Spring

It appears in their haste to flee the attacking goblins, the dwarves of the town left some masterwork items ready for trade lying outside in the bins. Among which a schist mug called "Thunderedsteam the Sad Swords" and a gabbro crown called "Silvercreeds". Next to these lies dying the swordsman Ber Nomalrulush. He is mildly unhappy about long patrols but very happy about the legendary dining room. Lying dying in the rain while goblins pillage his town does not come to his mind at the moment.

It appears the mayor is holding a meeting with the trade liason just below the wooden doors holding back the goblin horde. He does not seem concerned one bit.

Submitted by: Benzene - 2011-03-06 to 254 Early Spring

It appears a dam made out of ice is holding back the river, providing a possible entry point for the invaders. An extra door should buy us some time to wall it off, should the goblins find their way down.

I ordered the food lying dangerously close to the fortress exit by hauled down to an empty room near the main dining hall. Then I led the miners to a vigorous effort to increase the size of that room, so to make room for all the food. This should make the dwarves a little safer, should the wooden doors fall.

Submitted by: Benzene - 2011-03-06 to 254 Early Spring

Atír Becorkûbuk, Ghostly Weaver has risen and is haunting the fortress! Luckily, he's in the dry river bed behind the door I had installed. He turned out to be the first of many.

As the goblin's giant toad began chewing at the carpeter's shack's door, I began removing the stairs to the surface and wall the area off. I didn't feel confident about the strength of those wooden doors at all. Wood, pfah! What sensible dwarf ever trusted his life to wooden doors?

But what is this? The goblins must have been getting more hungry than the dwarves they were besieging and ran off! They left the giant toad and his crossbowgoblin behind guarding the old fortress entrance. I wonder if Brave Sir Nilocy is feeling up to the task.

Submitted by: Benzene - 2011-03-06 to 254 Early Spring

It appears, not. Sir Nilocy is unable to follow orders and is limping to a barrel of prickle berry ale. Pfah! In my day, no soldier was counted as incapacitated until they couldn't lift their waterskin to drink on their own. We'll see if the little wimp feels up to defending us when that little fleshwound has healed. I conscripted some no-good wankboys into a new crossbowdwarf squad but gearing and arming them is proving challenging with the current burrow restrictions. LASD, the bookkeper dwarf tells me there have to be some crossbows around here somewhere, but no one seems to know where exactly. The giant toad in the meanwhile, has begun to smash the wooden doors to the staircase. Good thing I walled those stairs off. After seeing its path blocked by solid rock, it buggers off.

Just as I was about to lift the alarm, a new group of goblins appears from the bushes, and start slaughtering the remaining livestock. And migrants. My Armok, I heard of some twisted ways some fort commanders show unneeded migrants the door, but no dwarf deserves to be chased down by goblin ambushers. Luckily for most, a minotaur has arrived to bring them a worthy death.

Submitted by: Benzene - 2011-03-06 to 254 Early Spring

After beating around some migrants and goblins alike, the minotaur climbs a lookout platform I hadn't noticed before. This is a wonderful opportunity! I order the beginning of sapping operations to bring down the tower and the minotaur with it, but just as I notice the minotaur has wandered off, some dwarf screws things up and brings down the tower prematurely! I'll have the fool executed once I found out who it is! In the meantime the minotaur appears to have be drowning a goblin ambusher in a nearby pool. And then proceeds to sit in the water for a day or two. He must be having a relaxing bath after all that maiming and killing.

The next day, some of the remaining goblins have found an entrance in the hole in the ground left by the sapping operations. Curses! Well, this is a good chance to see what that Nilocy guy is made off. He beats off the lasher, but sustains major injuries from the pikeman and bravely runs away. Again! The fledgeling crossbowdwarf squad without crossbows sustains heavy losses driving the last goblin off.

Submitted by: Benzene - 2011-03-06 to 254 Early Spring


Today I attempted to let the surviving migrants gain entry to the fortress by opening the back door, but as the minotaur attempted to follow them I had one of the bridges raised. The minotaur smashes doors at the same speed as he does migrants. We cannot get out. We cannot get out.

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