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| Fortress:
Liontower
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Shurikane |
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The Crash Site
Dastot Lisatzon writes in his journal:
"We were doing our work one day when we saw this gigantic Liontower fall from the sky and crash right next to our humble fortress! The thing pierced right through our chambers, fortunately wounding none, but creating a nasty fierce crack in the ground along with an incredible amount of rubble.
We quickly cleared out the loose stones and then polished the structure. Sadly, we cannot move it - it's far too large for even all of us and our engineering put together. So we had to leave it there. We ended up smoothing and engraving its floor-ceiling-whatever-it-is and turned it into an observatory safe from the arrows of the stupid goblins."
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2009-02-02
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Stupidshit Jr.'s Burial Chamber
Written on the plaque of this hastily made alunite coffin is the following:
"Lolor Othlestfath, also known as Stupidshit Jr., locked himself in repeatedly during the construction of a new structure dedicated to our beloved Liontower, much against his wishes as he pleaded to be let out. He later died from a massive goblin ambush.
For his complete lack of brain in terms of masonry, Stupidshit Jr. has been awarded with a personal burial chamber and an alunite coffin made by an apprentice. Stupidshit was definitely your spiritual big brother."
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2009-02-02
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The Watcher's Burial Chamber
Written on the plaque of this finely crafted granite coffin is the following:
"Messthos Sirabkikrost, also known as The Watcher, locked himself on top of a cliff during an excavation, and willingly let himself starve to death as he tirelessly watched the unearthing of another one of Liontower's magnificent gifts to His loyal, humble and unworthy subjects.
For his devotion to Liontower above and beyond the call of faith, The Watcher has been awarded with a personal burial chamber and a granite coffer made by the best of our masons. May Liontower smile upon your soul."
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2009-02-02
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Stupidshit's Burial Chamber
Written on the plaque of this simple microcline coffer is the following:
"Zan Rigothzoz, also known as Stupidshit, misunderstood his order of going inside the fortress and instead fruitlessly charged at an incoming goblin invasion, getting scared and re-charging them six times to everyone's utter bafflement, before finally retreating into the fortress once and for all.
For his magnificent brain fart, Stupidshit has been awarded with a personal burial chamber and a microcline coffer. Keep being stupid in hell."
The last part has been concealed under a sort of masking tape, indicating the aforementioned Zan Rigothzoz is still alive at the moment.
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2009-02-02
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| Fortress:
Liontower
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|
Shurikane |
Sleepysmurf's Burial Chamber
Written on the plaque of this decorated trifle pewter coffin is the following:
"Uvash Onshenkol, also known as Sleepysmurf, survived a sneak goblin ambush by casually walking to the top of the Eastern Ramp under construction at the time, and taking a snooze as carnage erupted down below. He woke up several days later after a mason screamed at him to get out of the way for the placement of a wall section.
For his wonderful calmness in dealing with a dire situation, Sleepysmurf has been awarded with a personal burial chamber, a trifle pewter coffin, and two alunite statues. Sleep a while, now sleep forever."
The last part has been concealed under a sort of masking tape, indicating the aforementioned Uvash Onshenkol is still alive at the moment.
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2009-01-02
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The Survivor's Burial Chamber
Written on the plaque of this superiorly crafted copper coffin is the following:
Asob Unibolon, also known as The Survivor, was drafted along with ten other dwarves caught outside the fortress during a surprise attack and ordered to fight back an incoming force of eighty speargoblins, crossbowgoblins, and axegoblins. Rather than attack, he smarly turned heels, went all the way around the outer wall and came in through the opposite side of Cage Alley, in blatant defiance of his orders.
For his quick wit and his ability to escape an overwhelming situation, The Survivor has been rewarded with a personal burial chamber, a copper coffin, and two alunite statues, where he has been laid to rest as his nickname finally ceased to prove itself."
The last part has been concealed under a sort of masking tape, indicating the aforementioned Asob Unibolon is still alive at the moment.
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2009-01-02
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Lion Treasures
Dastot Lisatzon writes in his journal:
"This is our artifact vault. Whoever takes one of these away, even if he owns it, gets punished by a swift chop to the family jewels. Artifacts are all property of Liontower, and therefore, my property!"
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2009-01-02
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Dastot Lisatzon's Very Modest Tomb
Dastot Lisatzon writes in his journal:
"This is where I'm gonna be put to my final rest. Deduk thought he was being a smartass by having this place secretly built, but nothing escapes my eye. The secret tunnel, the chamber, the mass engravings, the big giant box with Liontower's viasge on them - I had seen it all long, long before he even came close to suspecting anything. Hey, idiot! When you ask other people to do your dirty work, they gossip about it! Everyone was talking about it behind your back!
So what do I do? I pick that up and I make it mine, and whoever disagrees with my decision is gonna have a dig workorder on both of his eyes! Do I make myself clear?"
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2009-01-02
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Deduk Inethmafol's Luxurious Tomb
Dastot Lisatzon writes in his journal:
"When I learned the spineless idiot had decided to build himself a super-mausoleum for his own fabricated glory, I countered with a bit of my own revenge. The instant he died, I snuck his body into some cheap-ass andesite box and jammed him right into the ramp under construction.
Armok's gonna have a nice little surprise when he sees the little self-important maggot crawling to him with nothing but a piece of rock as his garment. That's all he deserves. He thought he was doing Liontower a favor by doing all this work. Shit no! Liontower does a favor to you! And you thank him by doing all that puny little construction even though you know this'll never be enough!
Whatever. Screw him, screw 'em, screw this entire damn fort. No way in hell I'm applying for mayor after him. That job is for weak-ass chumps. I'll let some other idiot claim the spot while I go and perform the real management: work orders, treasury and trading. By the time I'm done here, I'll be second to Liontower and sit right next to Him after my death! Ha!"
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2009-01-02
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PUKE!
Dastot Lisatzon writes in his journal:
"Placing the refuse stockpile under the barracks had a nasty effect on the guards. I thought they were build stronger than that, but no sir, no! The sun alone is enough to make 'em redecorate the place everytime they walk outside. Pussies, all of them! PUSSIES! They can go ahead and drown in their puke as far as I'm concerned. They're a useless bunch of bastards anyway."
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2009-01-02
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The Gate Ramps
Dastot Lisatzon writes in his journal:
"This is what the average dumbass sees when he comes up to this sacred place. A huge outdoors tunnel coupled with some fancy logowork, flanked by a pair of massive andesite ramps with Liontower's precious face on top of 'em. Yep, those damn ramps are FULL! Took four years to get these all up and ready."
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2009-01-02
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Cage Alley III
Dastot Lisatzon writes in his journal:
"So after the death of that cocksucker Deduk Inethmafol, I went straight to his little piece of shit he calls a cage alley and gave it enough of a facelift to make a three hundred year old grandma look like a skank.
Each alley can now take in a full siege of 231 invaders, and if they're really pissed, I can take in as many as 924! Imagine filling every single trap. Those idiots are gonna need some serious backup, and boy have I got the place prepared for 'em. If even one of them gets past this impenetrable defense, I'm sacrificing myself to Liontower!"
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2009-01-02
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| Fortress:
Liontower
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Shurikane |
Seventy-eight Goblins!
Deduk Inethmafol writes in his journal:
"Count them! Count them all! Seventy-eight, yes indeed! From a massive siege involving eighty goblins, we captured all but two in our neat little cages. Just stripping them of their possessions alone took days. The buggers are quite resistant. Some of them complained about their balls being frozen solid during the winter when this happened. I told him I'd solve the problem by elimination. That shut him up. I don't get how people can be such idiots as to speak madness while standing to close to Liontower. It's as they're in a hurry to die and they want to spend their time making my life a living hell in the meantime.
I captured an ambush pack of four a few days later and added them to the count, bringing it all to eighty-two. Once I drop them down, I'll have brought the total number of sacrifices to exactly one hundred and ninety four.
I think I'll wait for the new batch to be captured. I'm counting about thirty from a quick peek above the walls of the courtyard. Methinks a drop of over one hundred goblins into Liontower's maw will be... magnificent!"
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2008-12-20
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That Other Statue
Deduk Inethmafol writes in his journal:
"I don't like statues. But I figured I should put something on top of that welcoming slope to make it pretty. I had a mason quickly make some rough alunite thing. It looks barely human but I don't care. It's not like any of the idiots will go and look at that from up close. The only visitors we get are sent elsewhere and the appearance of that status is, to put it bluntly, the least of their worries.
This marks the second statue I've been placing in this fort. The first is on top of the access shaft leading to Liontower, placed there for pretty much the same reasons.
Some worker down in the shops told me the slope on top of Cage Alley made it look like 'an airplane'. Whatever the bloody Armok that is. I'd normally send dwarves making those sorts of comments straight to the hammerer, but since we don't have one... much less any chains or jails for that matter... I let him be on his way.
...On second thought, he's right. It does look like an airplane."
Submitted by:
Shurikane
- 2008-12-20
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